“I knew something was very different about me when I was about four years old. I remember lying in bed having just worked out that if I thought about nappies and baby things a lot, my bedwetting would be a lot heavier the next night. That didn’t upset or concern me. It was just an observation. I was and remain, an observant person and so it was rather telling that as a child who could not even read or write, I had recognised a connection between my thoughts and my bedwetting. Not that it changed anything.
I wet the bed every single night of my life until I was thirteen years old and on not one of those nights did I see it as a problem or an issue. While I never actually thought of it in such terms, bedwetting never bothered me. It was natural and easy and of zero concern to me. My parents were very tolerant and understanding and the occasional frustration they expressed didn’t affect me or change the wetting. It wasn’t until around thirteen that they expressed serious concern about it which motivated some effort and I more-or-less got dry overnight. Not that my bedwetting went away for long. Within a few years there were accidents again and by my early 20s I was wetting the bed again in increasing frequency until now, in my 50s that I wet the bed every night.
That same four-year old that made this connection started to want nappies again. Having been taken out of nappies fairly early, it might make sense to want them again because of my bedwetting, but that wasn’t really the reason at all. I wanted nappies because they were nappies. I had zero issue with bedwetting, but I still wanted nappies.
My two year old sister was still in nappies and in the early morning she would take off her wet ones and I would quickly put them on myself, still wet. I was approaching five years old by then and even now I can still recall the feelings of bliss and excitement pulling up the wet nappy. I felt good. But it also felt right.”